So… since Jamie has been doing most of the grunt work on this, and since technically I’m supposed to be the writer in the family, I wanted to check in and give a bit of a shout out to the birth fathers out there. We will be, after all, united in the fact that we want our babies to be safe, protected, and loved; and I want you to feel safe with me protecting and loving this precious piece of you. The commending in adoption scenarios usually goes to the birthmothers and I don’t want to negate that in any way. But, as a man that has only been able to dream of fatherhood for the past decade, I simply cannot grasp the entirety of what you, as a birthfather would sacrifice on my behalf. Therefore, feel free to sit back, and clean out your metaphorical shotgun or wipe down your machete as if preparing to allow your daughter out on a date for this first time. I’m here to prove my worth and help you understand why my value as a father is something worth fighting for.
As a teacher for nearly a decade, I have learned exactly what it means to be a good or a bad parent, what it means to be a babysitter or a mentor, and what it means to be that one person to provide hope. To paraphrase Frank McCourt, I have been, “a shoulder to cry on, a disciplinarian, a singer, a low-level scholar, a clerk, a referee, a clown, a counselor, a dress-code enforcer, a conductor, an apologist, a philosopher, a collaborator, a tap dancer, a politician, a therapist, a fool, a traffic cop, a priest, a mother-father-brother-sister-uncle-aunt, a bookkeeper, a critic, a psychologist, and the last straw.” I don’t say all of this to toot my own horn but rather to provide you with a resume of experience that, among other things, has led me towards the penultimate job of being a father. I’ve had the opportunity to be a father to hundreds of kids who lacked role models, examples, coaches, friends, heroes, or anyone to help them feel safe in life; all the while asking myself and God why I couldn’t be trusted with this job in my own home. I know that it’s time now. I know there is a little baby out there for me. But this one will be different from the kids I see at school. They won’t feel alone. Their home will be a sanctuary. They will ALWAYS know that someone loves them, that someone is there for them, and that he will never abandon them, regardless of the choices they make in life.
If they play sports, I will teach them to play their best, to never give up, and I will be at every game. But I will also teach them that if they lose, that it’s not the end of the world. If they play music or entertain, I will never miss a beat, but rather I’ll make sure they have every opportunity to follow their dreams. I will expose them to life, love, culture, and the arts, but I will also give them enough space to roam freely and make their own decisions. I will teach them to read, write, and communicate; to find what makes them happy and hold on to that forever. They will not fear me, but they will treat their mother with respect. They will laugh A LOT and they will learn to love life and be grateful. These and many other things I can only hope that you will trust me to achieve. I will love them with all my heart.
Sincerely,
Steve
