Two Wolves

Dear Birthmom, 

Have you heard of Al Fox Carraway?  I love reading her blog...she is uplifting, positive and inspirational. Who couldn't use more of that in their life! 

Her most recent post really resonated with me...it is so, so, SO good...and I wanted to share a little bit of it with you...

“I have two wolves barking inside of me. The first wolf is filled with anger, hatred, bitterness, and mostly revenge. The second wolf inside of me is filled with love, kindness, compassion, and mostly forgiveness.‘Which wolf do you think will win?’ the young boy inquired. The grandfather responded, ‘Whichever one I feed.’” (—Wayne Dyer) 

I looked in the mirror the other day and do you know what I saw?  A double chin. A double chin that never used to be there, and my arms that look what seems to be twice as wide as what they used to be. And what I didn’t see was my defined cheek bones I used to have or abs that used to be there or my self confidence with my image that I used to have.  Looking in that mirror was a terrible reminder of the 50 lbs I gained and haven’t lost yet.  I looked in the mirror and I just started bawling.  To end the night, I laid in bed and my mind wandered to all the things that didn’t get done that day and was upset because I wasn’t better. 

As women, the top thing we struggle with is comparison. Not even just women, but men too. Why? Why do we do that? Why do we pick ourselves a part? Why do we spend our thoughts and emotion on what we don’t like and wish we could change about ourselves? Or the things we aren’t doing as well as others or aren’t doing at all? Why do we define ourselves by what we can’t do?

Your worth is already established, it is infinite and that does not change. But the problem isn’t that we don’t know our self worth, it is that we have a hard time remembering it with all the outside influences in our lives— social media speaking the loudest. My husband told me once that there is a reason we have two ears; Satan yells in one, and the spirit whispers in the other.

I believe that the secret to have your best life is when we can fully accept who we are and love it.  To fully accept, understand and love that God did not short change or screw up on you.  Our perfect creator created you perfectly, and different.  Being different is a crucial, incredible thing to be! The best thing you could ever be is yourself.  The Lord needs you to be yourself, not someone else. He needs our differences, our talents and our quirks, or how else could His plan work if we were all the same?

Comparing yourself to someone else doesn’t help you be better. Your goals and efforts to being your best self should be based on doing your best, not someone else’s. The only thing we should be comparing ourselves to is our self yesterday.

God does not define you by your faults or shortcomings, but by your heart and potential. But would you rather hear it from me, or the lord? Sometimes I have read over my own thoughts on this as I some days still continue to struggle with it, and I think, “Yeah, I know it, but how can I feel it.”

Heavenly Father weeps when we don't see ourselves the way He sees us. Ask Heavenly Father to see yourself the way He sees you. 

Learn to not be so self critical because you are so beautiful in the eyes of God.

Our bodies don’t define who we are; it’s what inside us that God sees. When life gets me down it's only because I allow it to. Don't allow it any more. Do not feed the adversaries “wolf,” don’t keep it alive any longer. Don’t seek on others’ attention and praise. Be kind to yourself. Be proud of yourself. Because you are good enough. You are pretty enough. You are strong enough. You are worth it. You do deserve the best. You do deserve to be happy always. Do not hold yourself back any longer because great things await you just how you are. Strive everyday to be a little better, to be the bestyou. Believe in yourself and believe in God."

You, YOU are amazing. You are worthwhile. You are incredible.

Love you!

Jamie