A Mothering Heart

Some might say that I'm too sensitive, but I think the truth is that I just feel too much. Every word, every action, every energy goes straight to my heart, and I feel it. And my feelings this morning matched the moodiness of the sky: dull, grey, and weepy. A crack in my brave face revealed that thinking about the missing pieces of our family makes my heart ache.

As I sat in church, I was hyperaware of all the babies around me. Not just the babies though...but the way the babies clung to their mothers. The smallest of babies were content to be rocked and held through the service. The older babies though, bravely toddled through the mazes of isles. They couldn't be tempted to stop and snuggle anyone. No, that was something for which they hurried back to mother for.  For you see...Mothers, they are pretty special people.  

My heart ached for a baby to mother. To let me snuggle them, to hug them, to rock them safely to sleep.  To share a smile. To wipe away a tear. To help them color a picture, to give them a snack. To hold them on my lap, and sing a soft song in their ear.  To take their tiny hand, and guide them to where they want to go. 

As the meeting ended...mothers surrounded me.  One mother took my face in her hands and reassured me that all would be well. One mother said she had knit me a pair of socks to keep me warm. One mother shared a smile with me, and gave me a hug. One mother simply sat with me, and was my friend. They loved me with a mothering heart. 

And then I realized. I can have a mothering heart too, even though I'm not a mother yet. I can comfort those around me.  I can put others needs before mine. I can love those around me. And feeling that made the sun come out again.